Hello, everyone who is kind enough to make me part of their day.
Sorry I have been away for soooo long :)
its school work, it is unbelievable how busy my final year is, but I guess it is called 'Final' year for a reason.
I am still very much around and still have stories to share. Please, don't X me :)
P.S the next post will be a note on the theme Rejection which is connected to Marisa's story. And that will be soon.
Love
Tischioni Moore
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Thursday, 11 March 2010
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
Marisa's story Part 3
I moved out of town for some months to do a course. My cousin the one that was Keke’s friend would come and visit me with ‘gifts’ and messages from Keke. I hated Keke and I did not want to have anything to do with him. I did not care that he was doing ‘the right thing’ as everyone seemed to think, I hated that he would rather be without me… call me stupid, or whatever, I hoped he would stay.
Almost two years past, and no contact directly or indirectly with Keke ‘good’ I thought, feigning bravado. In every other thing I was coping well, but when it came to thoughts of him, I would just fall apart. I had the admirers but I maintained my single status; I had just gotten a job as an accountant at a firm, and I was focused on climbing the corporate ladder, so work came first.
I thought the past the past, and it could not hurt me anymore. I did not hate Keke but I knew it still hurt to talk about him or think about him.
I had to talk to you today and relive all this, because earlier on today I saw him… from afar, he was coming out of a black sedan, I knew it was him, his height made him too obvious. Then I saw her, the woman he opened the passenger door for so she could come out, I caught my breath as I looked at her mid-section and saw the bump, I felt the grocery bag in my hand slipping, I held onto it tightly telling myself it could be a friend, I willed it to just be a friend, because Keke still was ‘my Keke’ and I was still his, it dawned on me so strongly in that moment that in my head neither he nor I were free to move on.
She kissed him or he kissed her, I can’t remember who did what but I remember seeing his hand rub her tummy affectionately, and in that I knew all I needed to know; Keke was a husband and a soon to be father.
He saw me, he looked my way, and seemed to linger on me for a while, he was happy, and I did not want him to feel guilty for that…
I smiled warmly at him, he smiled back at me as his wife put her arms around his waist oblivious to what was happening between him and I, and within seconds as though I had imagined them, they were gone.
And my heart sighed ‘I wish you well Keke, I wish you well’. And for the first time since the engagement fell through, I really meant it.”
(C) Tischioni Moore
2009
This is the final part of this story, a short note would follow duly. Thank's for reading.
Almost two years past, and no contact directly or indirectly with Keke ‘good’ I thought, feigning bravado. In every other thing I was coping well, but when it came to thoughts of him, I would just fall apart. I had the admirers but I maintained my single status; I had just gotten a job as an accountant at a firm, and I was focused on climbing the corporate ladder, so work came first.
I thought the past the past, and it could not hurt me anymore. I did not hate Keke but I knew it still hurt to talk about him or think about him.
I had to talk to you today and relive all this, because earlier on today I saw him… from afar, he was coming out of a black sedan, I knew it was him, his height made him too obvious. Then I saw her, the woman he opened the passenger door for so she could come out, I caught my breath as I looked at her mid-section and saw the bump, I felt the grocery bag in my hand slipping, I held onto it tightly telling myself it could be a friend, I willed it to just be a friend, because Keke still was ‘my Keke’ and I was still his, it dawned on me so strongly in that moment that in my head neither he nor I were free to move on.
She kissed him or he kissed her, I can’t remember who did what but I remember seeing his hand rub her tummy affectionately, and in that I knew all I needed to know; Keke was a husband and a soon to be father.
He saw me, he looked my way, and seemed to linger on me for a while, he was happy, and I did not want him to feel guilty for that…
I smiled warmly at him, he smiled back at me as his wife put her arms around his waist oblivious to what was happening between him and I, and within seconds as though I had imagined them, they were gone.
And my heart sighed ‘I wish you well Keke, I wish you well’. And for the first time since the engagement fell through, I really meant it.”
(C) Tischioni Moore
2009
This is the final part of this story, a short note would follow duly. Thank's for reading.
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
marisa's story Part 2
Everyone was surprised and happy for us, I was to get married before my friends who had been dating long before me, some despised me openly for beating them to it, and others asked ‘how did you get him to pop the question?’ to the latter I say ‘when a man knows what he wants, he knows what he wants, it is that simple, it has nothing to do with all the other things like money, job and all that we have assumed it to be about. Plus when you are a good thing, and when it is for you-it just works out, no stress.’
Wedding preparations got hot and heavy, church counseling and dress fittings, then came the news. Keke had been having headaches, and I insisted he got it checked, so if it was malaria we could begin to treat it. I did not want my groom sick on our day. Keke went to the hospital, and did a blood test, the good news was it was not malaria, the headaches were probably related to stress; the bad news was discovering that Keke’s genotype was AS, just like me.
Why didn’t we talk about this before hand? Why didn’t it matter to us before we got here, a month to our wedding? On hearing this, my father immediately refused to go any further with wedding plans, I was heart broken. My mother asked me to see reason, that to go on was to be selfish and not consider the future of my children, then she asked me ‘don’t you want to have healthy children?’ of course I did, what sort of question was that?
On Keke’s end, it was not easy either; his parents were also on his case. The wedding everyone was excited about, preparing for, the one that had made me the envy of all was now threatened to not exist at all.
I prayed like never before, begging God to do a miracle change his blood type, change mine, or better we get married and none of our kids the victim’s of our love.
Keke and I would meet in secret, as now our love was a taboo; word went out to our invited guests that the wedding had been ‘postpone’.
‘How are you holding up?’ Keke asked me minutes after I got into his car, on one of those evenings we met at Yumi’s place.
I said nothing; I did not even look at him I simply stared at my engagement ring.
‘they have a point you know, we won’t be happy… you could hate me for what our children will go through, I could hate you… or worse our children could hate us. I love you Marissa but…’ Keke was saying.
I could not believe what I was hearing, three weeks and they had finally gotten him to cave in, Keke wanted out, he wanted out but did not want to be ‘the bad guy’.
“fine.” I said holding back my tears as I pulled my engagement ring off my finger.
“Have it…” I said. My palms were open where the ring sat beautifully my arm outstretched, my tears now falling… silently.
“Do not be like this, Marissa this hurts me too but what can we do? I can’t stand this over our heads, like a dark cloud. We deserve to be happy completely and build a family of healthy happy children… now that we know, it won’t be right to go on, it just won’t…” Keke said and quickly wiped his eyes, I knew he was crying I heard it in his voice.
“Take your damn ring!” I cried as I tossed it at him and before he could stop me or say anything I walked out of the car into Yumi’s apartment and bolted the door.
Keke knocked on the front door, rang the door bell, Yumi begged me to hear him out
‘To hell with him! ’ I screamed.
(c) Tischioni Moore
2010
Wedding preparations got hot and heavy, church counseling and dress fittings, then came the news. Keke had been having headaches, and I insisted he got it checked, so if it was malaria we could begin to treat it. I did not want my groom sick on our day. Keke went to the hospital, and did a blood test, the good news was it was not malaria, the headaches were probably related to stress; the bad news was discovering that Keke’s genotype was AS, just like me.
Why didn’t we talk about this before hand? Why didn’t it matter to us before we got here, a month to our wedding? On hearing this, my father immediately refused to go any further with wedding plans, I was heart broken. My mother asked me to see reason, that to go on was to be selfish and not consider the future of my children, then she asked me ‘don’t you want to have healthy children?’ of course I did, what sort of question was that?
On Keke’s end, it was not easy either; his parents were also on his case. The wedding everyone was excited about, preparing for, the one that had made me the envy of all was now threatened to not exist at all.
I prayed like never before, begging God to do a miracle change his blood type, change mine, or better we get married and none of our kids the victim’s of our love.
Keke and I would meet in secret, as now our love was a taboo; word went out to our invited guests that the wedding had been ‘postpone’.
‘How are you holding up?’ Keke asked me minutes after I got into his car, on one of those evenings we met at Yumi’s place.
I said nothing; I did not even look at him I simply stared at my engagement ring.
‘they have a point you know, we won’t be happy… you could hate me for what our children will go through, I could hate you… or worse our children could hate us. I love you Marissa but…’ Keke was saying.
I could not believe what I was hearing, three weeks and they had finally gotten him to cave in, Keke wanted out, he wanted out but did not want to be ‘the bad guy’.
“fine.” I said holding back my tears as I pulled my engagement ring off my finger.
“Have it…” I said. My palms were open where the ring sat beautifully my arm outstretched, my tears now falling… silently.
“Do not be like this, Marissa this hurts me too but what can we do? I can’t stand this over our heads, like a dark cloud. We deserve to be happy completely and build a family of healthy happy children… now that we know, it won’t be right to go on, it just won’t…” Keke said and quickly wiped his eyes, I knew he was crying I heard it in his voice.
“Take your damn ring!” I cried as I tossed it at him and before he could stop me or say anything I walked out of the car into Yumi’s apartment and bolted the door.
Keke knocked on the front door, rang the door bell, Yumi begged me to hear him out
‘To hell with him! ’ I screamed.
(c) Tischioni Moore
2010
Friday, 15 January 2010
Marisa's story Part 1
*The stories in this series cover different themes, and are all told in first person*
Five minutes with Marissa: 12-02-1998
“Like every other day, today was no different or so I thought. It was another day at the office, pulling the back-breaking, mind numbing and soul daunting 9-5, then what, the long drive home; to an empty apartment… it feels like not too long ago that I had Keke in my life, by my side.
Goke would tell me time and again ‘it is time to let go’ (and embrace him?) he does not add this part but I know what he is thinking. But it is never easy to let go of your first love, it is not something that happens without a conscious effort and commitment on your part.
I met Keke at a night club, a cousin had just come in from the United States, and he was going all out to celebrate his return to Nigeria. What he was celebrating is beyond me, we all knew the poor thing had been deported. Yumi another cousin and I went for the ‘party’. Yumi forced me into going because except I the ‘responsible’ one was going her parents were not going to let her pull an all night some where that was not a church gathering. I would have preferred staying home, and being my boring self; in hindsight I wish I suggested this to Yumi, maybe I would like to think that.
Anyway, Keke, a tall, strappingly handsome man, with the deepest of voice and the most tender smile, walked up to where I was sitting with some friends and asked if he could get ‘five minutes’, I was curt and told him I was with friends, and quickly my friends began to laugh and scream ‘take her, take her jo.’ I knew they were tired of my ‘spinster ways’, I began to wonder rather briefly if Keke coming up to me was a set up.
Five minutes became, close to an hour; and you know what? I did not care, he was the first guy who could have me laughing so hard with reckless abandon, he would impersonate television personalities or someone from his place of work and I will just laugh, his stories were wild and comedic, ‘I like the way you laugh’ he said to me by the time Yumi and the others were ready to leave the venue.
We saw a lot after then, since Keke was a close friend of my deported cousin, Keke would come around with my cousin to visit, or we would all meet at some venue or event to hang out.
I have always laughed at people who claim to ‘have fallen in love’; I would tell them after laughing real good that love does not creep up on us, we choose it. But With Keke, I knew how it felt to wake up one day and to have fallen in love; because I can not tell you when I knew I loved him, or when I chose to love him, but I know one day I heard myself telling him ‘I love you.’ He could tell I had never said that to anyone before, and he kissed me and said ‘marry me’; this was barely a year into our being official couples, me a young twenty-something, he in his early thirties, knowing what he wanted… who he wanted. I said ‘yes’, because though young I knew there will be no one else but him.
Five minutes with Marissa: 12-02-1998
“Like every other day, today was no different or so I thought. It was another day at the office, pulling the back-breaking, mind numbing and soul daunting 9-5, then what, the long drive home; to an empty apartment… it feels like not too long ago that I had Keke in my life, by my side.
Goke would tell me time and again ‘it is time to let go’ (and embrace him?) he does not add this part but I know what he is thinking. But it is never easy to let go of your first love, it is not something that happens without a conscious effort and commitment on your part.
I met Keke at a night club, a cousin had just come in from the United States, and he was going all out to celebrate his return to Nigeria. What he was celebrating is beyond me, we all knew the poor thing had been deported. Yumi another cousin and I went for the ‘party’. Yumi forced me into going because except I the ‘responsible’ one was going her parents were not going to let her pull an all night some where that was not a church gathering. I would have preferred staying home, and being my boring self; in hindsight I wish I suggested this to Yumi, maybe I would like to think that.
Anyway, Keke, a tall, strappingly handsome man, with the deepest of voice and the most tender smile, walked up to where I was sitting with some friends and asked if he could get ‘five minutes’, I was curt and told him I was with friends, and quickly my friends began to laugh and scream ‘take her, take her jo.’ I knew they were tired of my ‘spinster ways’, I began to wonder rather briefly if Keke coming up to me was a set up.
Five minutes became, close to an hour; and you know what? I did not care, he was the first guy who could have me laughing so hard with reckless abandon, he would impersonate television personalities or someone from his place of work and I will just laugh, his stories were wild and comedic, ‘I like the way you laugh’ he said to me by the time Yumi and the others were ready to leave the venue.
We saw a lot after then, since Keke was a close friend of my deported cousin, Keke would come around with my cousin to visit, or we would all meet at some venue or event to hang out.
I have always laughed at people who claim to ‘have fallen in love’; I would tell them after laughing real good that love does not creep up on us, we choose it. But With Keke, I knew how it felt to wake up one day and to have fallen in love; because I can not tell you when I knew I loved him, or when I chose to love him, but I know one day I heard myself telling him ‘I love you.’ He could tell I had never said that to anyone before, and he kissed me and said ‘marry me’; this was barely a year into our being official couples, me a young twenty-something, he in his early thirties, knowing what he wanted… who he wanted. I said ‘yes’, because though young I knew there will be no one else but him.
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